So recently I’ve noticed a lot of the comments I make on my social media accounts have been attracting a lot of argumentive negative people. Normally, the trend would make me think that I’m posting negative comments but I literally posted a wholesome comment on a woman’s weight loss of 300 pounds(? I feel like it was more) and I had people literally replying with “she shouldn’t have been that weight.” Then another comment about how I believe working people can find a job they enjoy no matter the pay and then I had a lady blow up my phone. It blows my mind.
I’m noticing more people will reply negatively to a positive comment. I do try to make sure that whatever I post online I’m more than willing to say it in person. My rule of thumb is if I’m not willing to say it to your face then I shouldn’t say it all. I try to be a bit more understanding because I know there are bots and trolls.
Well, lately it’s been getting under my skin a lot more. And I ask myself “why would someone being negative over something so irrelevant and non-trivial really bother me?”
I heard on this podcast this morning (Your Mom’s House Podcast) about Chris Destefano trying to lose weight and he brought up how social media can be bad for you even on the positive side of it. And how seeing others lose weight can kind of pressure you. But I also understand the excitement of posting your hard work and success.
I’ve kind of realized I rely on social media for social but in reality, social media is just posting things. It doesn’t really serve you on a daily basis. I think it’s a lot like unhealthy foods, they’re fine to have every once in a while but every day can really hurt you in the long run. And I’m learning social media right now is probably the most unnecessary stress I have in my life.
The thing is I don’t like that people will add negativity to a positive comment but the issue is my belief that everyone can have their own opinion. Then I hate when people attack me for having my own opinion. I do think I’m learning the difference between being trolled vs legit criticism because the person who is giving actual criticism will have an actual conversation and not attack you offensively. Then some of it comes back to self-responsibility in knowing when to ignore someone or not. And I think lately it’s been hard for me to ignore people.
I can’t speak for others but I’ve noticed that when I’m losing weight and I see some others with the success it kind of brings up some of the psychological issues you haven’t dealt with before.
When growing up; I had severe ADHD, I was overweight, and I always argued back so I made the perfect target for bullying. I think with the social media its a reminder of how the bullying was when I was kid; negativity on a positive situation, arguing over something that doesn’t really matter, and not being able to have real conservation.
And I’ve noticed by losing weight and the more successful I get the more those old wounds to start to surface. I think social media in itself causes people to feel a lot of ways that they shouldn’t; good or bad.
I’m guilty of participating in watching failing weight loss channels because they kind of help me see what I shouldn’t be doing. Social media is definitely a complex thing because it can also vary from person to person.
I think it is similar to how I’m just one of those people that can’t eat fast food or I’ll fall off track. Or I can’t drink diet soda because it’ll make me eat more. I think social media (for me) is for when I’m posting something important instead of random things.
I think moving forward I need to stay away from Facebook and Instagram unless I have like something important to update for friends and family. Pinterest is alright because I don’t see negativity on there. As for youtube, I need to stop watching drama videos. How am I supposed to get healthy if I participate in unhealthy things like gossip? I also need to stay away from the comment sections of youtube videos. I actually have noticed I’ll read them before I watch the video and it’ll affect my experience of the video. I also need to find another social outlet that involves real people instead of a screen and keyboard.
Trying to lose weight while dealing with negative people just isn’t going to work for me. I am going to make the choice to make sure I’m limiting my social media usage to see if that helps me with my mental health for weight loss. I believe it will.
Social media may not affect everyone the same way. This blog post is mostly about my current situation between my mental health and social media experience and how it’s affecting my weight loss. If you have any advice on how you limit social media or negativity online I’m all ears!
First of all, I recommend the book The Shame Machine by Cathy O’Neil. It changed the way I saw social media.
The algorithms that dictate what we see on social media are designed to keep us hooked on negative content. So whenever we say to the social media app “don’t show me this,” we just told it exactly what upsets us, and it will show us more.
The result is an online environment where the most aggravating content upsets people, and then make angry remarks, and then they repeat the cycle. They become angrier, and they can’t break away from it.
I’ve spent a lot of my life in online discourse communities (like old school message boards). Things were better back then. We had our drama but we enjoyed communicating online, and the experience was overall pleasant. That all changed.
Now, the business model seems to be “anger = money.” What a terrible product. And what a terrible way to live.
I’m coming back to social media to promote a few projects of mine, and I can’t stand it. lol. It’s become a snare that billions of people walk into. Why would I want to trap myself like that? Bedsides, I like being in the company of others. Analog fellowship is hi-fi.
Thanks for your great post.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you! I will definitely look into that book. I completely agree about the anger = money
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