Spoke too soon

It hit me today. I really thought it wouldn’t. It’s not fair because I know I’m the only one who has heartache for the end. He’s fine with it so why can’t I be? I have cried over this man countless times and yet it still hurts. It’s not fair.

I’m still in the tunnel. I thought he was the light at the end of the tunnel to a better life. I thought if I held on it would all pay off. I thought if I kept going towards the light it would get me out of the darkness. But he was the train.

I thought if I held onto hope and keep trying to make things work everything would work out because I thought he was the light at the end of the tunnel. I really did. I wanted to believe in him. But he was the train. The train hit me. It shattered my heart. It shattered me completely.

It took eight years to realize it. He was the train. I honestly thought he was the light at the end of the tunnel and he was. But it was a train.

My biggest failure and regret achieved…loving someone who didn’t love me. I really wanted it to be the light at the end of the tunnel. I really wanted him to love me. I stayed for eight years, through all the turmoil and yelling. I wonder how much this mistake has cost me.

I wish it wasn’t possible to love someone who doesn’t love you.